


schrödinger's chat

by wires



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Group chat, M/M, Several Of Them In Fact, Trans Character, mostly everyone is lgbt, not everyone but. almost everyone, so dont read this if you haven't played all of them, spoilers up the wazoo for all the zero escape games, they don't show up in the first chapter but believe me they are there, will add more relationship tags as they happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9103666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wires/pseuds/wires
Summary: junpei adds everyone he's ever met in a death game to a group chat. it's not the absolute worst idea he's had in his life, but it's up there.(post ztd but some vlr characters may show up occasionally)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> firstly, yes, i know the games happen in 2027/2028, please let me live and use memes from 2016
> 
> secondly, i got the idea for this from this fic http://archiveofourown.org/works/8691349/chapters/19925938  
> which is a yuri on ice groupchat fanfic, it's hilarious, would recommend if you like yoi
> 
> third, here's a list of the usernames and who they belong to just to make this slightly less confusing:  
> junpuns - junpei  
> Kanny ^~^ - akane  
> Σ - sigma  
> ~*~pink princess~*~ - clover  
> h.kashiwabara - lotus  
> 500 snakes in a trenchcoat - light  
> Seven - take a guess  
> pretty fly for a bi guy - aoi  
> CarlosAndalucia - carlos  
> Mom Friend™ - diana  
> Eric~- eric  
> Sean! - sean  
> golden girl - phi

**junpuns** : hey akane, i have an idea

 **Kanny ^~^** : is this going to be as bad as the time you tried to make that stupid elevator joke

 **junpuns** : a) no  
  
**junpuns** : b) that was funny and also partially your fault leave me alone  
  
**Kanny ^~^** : if you say so  
  
**junpuns** : anyway, you know how we have a bunch of chats with other people?  
  
**junpuns:** well, we should make a group chat with everyone!  
  
**Kanny ^~^:** that is the worst idea i've ever heard

 **junpuns:** okay i know a lot of the nevada game people kind of hate you but come onnnn  
  
**junpuns** : would be easier than messaging people individually every time you want to have a party  
  
**Kanny ^~^** : jumpy i really don't think this is a good idea  
  
**junpuns** : well that is just Too Bad  
  
**Kanny ^~^** : i swear to god

 

 **junpuns** added  **Kanny ^~^, Σ, ~*~pink princess~*~, h.kashiwabara, 500 snakes in a trenchcoat, Seven, pretty fly for a bi guy, CarlosAndalucia, Mom Friend™,  Eric~** **, Sean!,** and **golden girl** to the conversation

**junpuns** renamed the conversation to  _schrödinger's chat  
_

 

**pretty fly for a bi guy:** junpei i swear to fucking god im going to murder you when i next see you in person

**junpuns:** that's a pretty empty threat considering i've died at least 10 times  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : omgggg i cant believe you two are threatening to kill each other again

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : its almost like old times!

 **CarlosAndalucia** : who the hell are all these people, junpei??

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i only recognize about half of them  
  
**junpuns** : relax  
  
**junpuns** : you'll figure it out eventually

 **Mom Friend™** : I recognize Sigma, Akane, Carlos

 **Mom Friend™** : Eric, and Sean  
  
**golden girl** : wow mom i cant believe you didnt even recognize your own daughter

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : holy fuck

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : i dont even know who you are but that was a high quality burn

 **Σ** : oooh boy diana you just got Roasted(tm)

 **golden girl** : name's phi, junpei knows me from the decision game

 **golden girl** : sigma and diana are my parents apparently

 **golden girl** : due to some really bad decisions and the ability to time travel

 **Kanny ^~^** : can we please stop talking about getting burned and roasted

 **500 snakes in a trenchcoat:** Can you all stop talking so fast? My text-to-speech app is having trouble keeping up.

 **h.kashiwabara** : Junpei why did you add me to this

 **Seven** : I second the question

 **pretty fly for a bi guy:** jesus everyones trying to talk so fast can we pause and actually introduce ourselves

 **junpuns:** i need no introduction, i'm sure all of you know who i am

 **Kanny ^~^:** yeah, likewise

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : im aoi. akanes my little sister

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : in both senses of the word

 **Σ** : wait holy crap your parents named you red and blue???

 **Σ** : and i thought my parents were ridiculous

 **golden girl** : YOU NAMED ME PHI

 **Mom Friend™** : We thought we were naming you after the person we knew!

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : first of all sigma (? i'm assuming. akane's mentioned you before) no we arent named red and blue im named after a plant

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : secondly christ akane you didnt tell me that phi was sigmas kid. or that she was named after -herself-

 **Kanny ^~^:** i didn't know that either at the time!

 **Σ** : guess i'll go next. and yeah aoi (lmao plant man) i'm sigma, genius work figuring that out from my username

 **Σ** : phi's golden girl and the most ungrateful daughter to ever live

 **Σ** : Mom Friend is diana she's my gf

 **Mom Friend™** : Thank you for doing that so that I didn't have to, Sigma.

 **pretty fly for a bi guy:** call me plant man one more time i dare you

 **500 snakes in a trench coat:** I'm Light Field, though I'll also accept Snake. I was in the Second Nonary Game along with my younger sister Clover, who seems to be going by tilde asterisk tilde pink princess tilde asterisk tilde.

 **500 snakes in a trench coat:** Also, I'm blind, so excuse me if it takes a bit longer to respond than it apparently does for the rest of you.  
  
**Σ** : "tilde asterisk tilde pink princess tilde asterisk tilde"

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : bro omg it looks so much better than that typed out

 **500 snakes in a trench coat** : I'm sure, but, unfortunately, I can't see anything.

 **h.kashiwabara** : Im Hazuki, though Junpei keeps calling me Lotus anyway for some reason. I was in the 2nd nonary game 2

 **golden girl** : do you always type like a middle aged woman

 **h.kashiwabara** : I am a middle aged woman how dare you!

 **Seven** : Hazuki, please calm down

 **Seven** : Seven's all you need to know about me, I'm a detective so I'd rather keep it on the down low what my real name is

 **CarlosAndalucia** : wait are you that guy who junpei broke into the free the soul headquarters with?

 **Seven** : That would be me yes

 **junpuns** : that was rad as hell actually

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : who says rad in 2029

 **junpuns** : i will actually fight you right now let's go

 **Kanny ^~^** : jumpy why did you do this? this was such a bad idea

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : honestly i think it was a great idea!!! it's been so long since we all talked to each other

 **CarlosAndalucia** : that's nice but can i introduce myself

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : going off of your name i'm guessing youre that guy carlos who junpei wont shut up about

 **junpuns:** AOI I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : we're literally in the same house right now come upstairs

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i'm flattered junpei

 **CarlosAndalucia** : didn't know you liked me so much

 **junpuns** : @aoi i will later, mark my words, and carlos i swear to god i mean that in a "you're such a good friend" way

 **CarlosAndalucia** : anyway, yeah, i'm carlos. i was at dcom with junpei and akane, i'm a firefighter so if i'm randomly awake at 4 AM, that's why

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i'm kidding, i know that

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : that's everyone right??

 **Σ** : yeah, i think so

 **Σ** : minus eric and sean, but that's not that surprising in all honesty

 **500 snakes in a trench coat** : This is going to be a challenging group chat to keep up with, I can already tell.

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : i can take you off if you want

 **500 snakes in a trench coat** : No, it'll do. I'm honestly flattered that you want to introduce me to all your friends, June Pay.

 **junpuns** : oh lord it doesn't recognize my name

 **junpuns** : light you should probably just tell it individual letters your text-to-speech isn't responding properly at all

 **junpuns** : that's a thing you can do, right?

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : surprisingly no this text to speech app just ends up spacing it so it would read like j u n p e i

 **junpuns** : i'd prefer that over "June Pay"

 **Σ** : idk i have absolutely no idea how his screen reader is going to read my chat name

 **h.kashiwabara** : Can someone please tell me how 2 mute this chat

 **Seven** : I would but I would rather you see everything these numbskulls have to say

 **junpuns** : don't call my friends numbskulls

 **CarlosAndalucia** : junpei chill it's a term of endearment

 **500 snakes in a trench coat** : If you could, please spell that like n u m skulls. It reads out the whole word otherwise.

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : light your screen reader doesnt even do that ive heard it from the other room

 **golden girl** : jesus christ

 **golden girl:** i can already tell this is going to be a nightmare


	2. in which junpei and akane publicly argue about their netflix queue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this whole chapter on an airplane with just my phone and a notetaking app, my thumbs are dead, please help me,
> 
> also there is Minor nsfw in this chapter, it's not Explicit or anything but it's pretty well implied, it happens in the private chat part w junpei and akane if you want to skip over it
> 
> a character reminder list:  
> junpuns - junpei  
> Kanny ^~^ - akane  
> Σ - sigma  
> ~*~pink princess~*~ - clover  
> h.kashiwabara - lotus  
> 500 snakes in a trenchcoat - light  
> Seven - take a guess  
> pretty fly for a bi guy - aoi  
> CarlosAndalucia - carlos  
> Mom Friend™ - diana  
> IceCream- eric  
> Sean! - sean  
> golden girl - phi

**junpuns** : hey guys, can someone help me

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : what's up??

 **junpuns** : someone please tell akane to stop filling our netflix queue with conspiracy theory documentaries

 **too fly for a bi guy** : do it yourself asshole

 **too fly for a bi guy** : youre the one whos at home

 **junpuns** : see, i would, but then she would just stare me dead in the eye and go "they're real, jumpy"

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : thats rough bro

 **CarlosAndalucia** : junpei just tell her? it can't suck that much

 **junpuns** : why are you on her side? the last time you two disagreed she went after you with a chainsaw

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : wait wtf akane did that

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : that seems both wildly out of character and hilarious

 **CarlosAndalucia** : let me tell you, it was way less hilarious in the moment

 **CarlosAndalucia** : that said, junpei, seriously, just talk to her, she is your fiancee

 **junpuns** : but what if she just goes silent on me

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : junpei omg she trapped you in a death game???? and this is what you're concerned about???

 **junpuns** : heck off clover we've made peace with the death game thing

 **junpuns** : besides you were there too

 **golden girl** : how did I become surrounded by weird hetero morphogenetic field soul mates

 **junpuns** : first of all I'm bi not straight

 **CarlosAndalucia** : oh thank god

 **junpuns** : secondly phi i didn't even know you were here this whole time

 **golden girl** : lurking is what i do best

 **junpuns** : thirdly, carlos w h a t

 **CarlosAndalucia** : nvm

 **junpuns** : don't nvm now you jerk what do you even m e a n

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i said nvm

 **golden girl** : *magic school bus voice* CARLOOOS

 **golden girl** : im just doing that so junpei doesnt have to

-

 **golden girl** : and both of you have disappeared. Fantastic

 **junpuns** : no I'm still here, i don't know where carlos went though

 **h.kashiwabara** : Junpei as someone who has been married just don't question it let June have her fun

 **junpuns** : or aoi, for that matter

 **h.kashiwabara** : Akane* sorry still not used to that

 **junpuns** : lotus that is a terrible idea, because now I can't find anything I actually want to watch on netflix

 **junpuns** : it's just full of crap like "search for bigfoot" and "kennedy: alien or man?"

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : that second one actually sounds good tbh.......

 **golden girl** : seconded it sounds hilarious

 **junpuns** : i hate both of you

 **golden girl** : seriously though i know im the fourth person to say it but just tell her it annoys you

 **Kanny ^~^** : yeah, jumpy, just tell me

 **junpuns** : shit

 

_**junpuns** has left the conversation._

 

 **golden girl** : i dont think so

 

_**golden girl** has added **junpuns** to the conversation_

 

 **junpuns** : phi, let me live

 **golden girl** : for someone who's died around twenty times that sure is a bold request

 **junpuns** : don't give me that you've died at least that much too

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : alright im breaking from doing stocks whatd i miss

 **Kanny ^~^** : me

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : o shit junpei whatve you done now

 **junpuns** : made the worst mistake of my life, apparently

 **junpuns** : but honestly akane the constant conspiracy theory talk gets so oooold

 **junpuns** : all of it's fake anyway

 **Kanny ^~^** : conspiracy theories are REal jumpy. maybe not the lizard people ones those are all antisemitic but. Bigfoot? Real

 **junpuns** : look what I have to deal with, folks

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : tbh im w akane on this one bigfoot is incredibly real

 **junpuns** : NOT YOU TOO

 **golden girl** : of all the conspiracy theories I gotta admit that bigfoot is the realest

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i'm back and what the hell, guys

 **CarlosAndalucia** : obviously nessie is the realest cryptid

 **junpuns** : i'm holding my head in my hands how do you people believe this crap

 **~*~pink princess~*~:** says the guy who solved a sudoku puzzle for his gf 9 years in the past lol

 **junpuns** : shut the hell up clover I don't need this right now

 **junpuns** : kanny for the love of God take all the cryptid documentaries out of the queue

 **junpuns** : i don't even care if you watch them but it's making it hell to find anything else I wanna watch

 **Kanny ^~^** : i could say that of all those goddamn gundam shows you watch

 **junpuns** : that's different they're clearly made up

 **golden girl** : this is such a funny conversation oh my god

 **junpuns** : also carlos watches them with me

 **CarlosAndalucia** : i refuse to be brought up as a point of contention in you and akane's arguments

 **Kanny ^~^** : jumpy private chat now

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : OMG IT JUST GOT REAL

-

_Private conversation between **junpuns** and **Kanny ^_^**_

**Kanny ^~^** : i'll take my queue out if you eat me out later

 **junpuns** : kanny that's extortion

 **Kanny ^~^** : technically it's blackmail

 **junpuns** : now is not the time to be arguing about this

 **Kanny ^~^** : i'll throw in a handjob if u want ;)

 **junpuns** : *sighs* why am I so predictable

 **junpuns** : f I NE

-

_schrödingers chat_

**Kanny ^~^** : problem solved see yall later

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : damn that was fast!!

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : oh no

 **pretty fly for a bi guy** : akane dont you dare ruin the sofa again

 **golden girl** : sofa?

 **~*~pink princess~*~** : again????

 **pretty fly for a bi guy:** trust me

 **pretty fly for a bi guy:** you dont wanna know

 

-

 

 **IceCream** : What is this

 **golden girl** : a mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *thumbs up emoji*
> 
> sigma and diana didn't show up in this chapter bc i couldn't figure out how to get a sigma sign or a (tm) to appear in the notetaking app, that's the only reason, they'll be back for sure though
> 
> i will make an effort to have at least-once-weekly updates but College so no guarantees
> 
> im eventually going to figure out how to get rid of the text box below but now is not that time


	3. too much salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is discourse about pickles. also sean shows up finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i havent updated this in forever, bad brain times and also college happened. im on summer break so it might be a bit more regular again but chapter ideas don't come to me regularly so don't expect much from me.
> 
> based on true events in the ze discord
> 
> character listing as a refresher:  
> junpuns - junpei  
> Kanny ^~^ - akane  
> Σ - sigma  
> ~*~pink princess~*~ - clover  
> h.kashiwabara - lotus  
> 500 snakes in a trenchcoat - light  
> Seven - take a guess  
> pretty fly for a bi guy - aoi  
> CarlosAndalucia - carlos  
> Mom Friend™ - diana  
> Eric~- eric  
> Sean! - sean  
> golden girl - phi

**~*~pink princess~*~:** hey is anyone awake??  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : i cant open this jar of pickles  
  
**pretty fly for a bi guy** : clover its 3 in the fucking morning  
  
**junpuns** : you're one to talk aoi  
  
**pretty fly for a bi guy** : right back at ya asshole  
  
**pretty fly for a bi guy** : its bc i have anxiety what's your excuse  
  
**junpuns** : adhd

**junpuns:** and also anxiety

**junpuns** : but mostly adhd  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : hahaha same  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : to both of you  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : anyway can one of you help me please this is a pain in the ass  
  
**pretty fly for a bi guy** : surely light can help you  
  
**pretty fly for a bi guy** : his concert ended like an hour ago right  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : i mean yeah but he also passed out on the couch sooooo

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : he does have a bed right

**junpuns** : what, are you gonna offer him to sleep in yours

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : very funny junpei

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : but no

**~*~pink princess~*~** : i dont mean to interrupt but this jar isn't gonna open itself

**junpuns** : you're just gonna let him sleep on the couch like a fool?  
  
**junpuns** : i'm a twink i cant open a jar ask akane  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : @akane wake up binch I need my pickles

**junpuns** : forgot to say, her phone's on silent  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : …......how do you know that  
  
**junpuns** : bc she turned it off before she passed it out, we're goddamn engaged clover come on

**CarlosAndalucia** : dear god what did I stumble into

**CarlosAndalucia** : and you don't need to remind us junpei

**CarlosAndalucia** : definitely not like you proposed in front of us or anything

**junpuns** : what, jealous? ;)

**junpuns** : /s

**CarlosAndalucia** : i'm out  
  
**~*~pink princess~*~** : CARLOS NO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE BUFF ENOUGH TO OPEN THIS PICKLE JAR

**~*~pink princess~*~** : COME BACK

**~*~pink princess~*~:** COME BAAAAAAAACK

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : im sorry to inform you clover

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : but the fireman has left the building

**junpuns** : bad post op

**junpuns** : @clover drop the jar on the ground that'll open it

**~*~pink princess~*~** : any other suggestions from anyone who isnt junpei

**Sean!** : Brute force. This technique simply requires you to use your manly strength to twist open the jar lid.

**~*~pink princess~*~** : quick question

**~*~pink princess~*~** : who is sean

**junpuns** : sean holy shit is that you

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : wh

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : who*

**Sean!** : Yes! Hello! Sigma managed to connect my central processing to his local server, so I should come by occasionally!

**Sean!** : I will usually be online when he isn't, since the server is set to turn off when there's any voluntary input.

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : a) sigma this is cool as shit

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : b) this is going to get so out of hand later

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : c) sean are you connected to google

**junpuns** : turn him into google bot and I will fight you

**Sean!** : Yes, I am!

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : can you google “how to get clover to go the fuck to sleep”

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : with quotes

**~*~pink princess~*~:** aoiiiiiiii

**Sean!** : Go the F*** to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world.

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : sean cancel search

**junpuns** : o h my god

 

-

 

**h.kashiwabara** : I know im supremely late to this conversation but pickles are absolutely fantastic. Clover I applaud you it might have been 3 am but I wouldnt have made it through motherhood without pickle jars

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : first of all, pickles aren't that great, hazuki

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : secondly, what the fUCK do you mean you raised nona and ennea on pickles

**golden girl** : pickles are goddamn disgusting

**junpuns** : please god let us stop before we get into pickle discourse

**Kanny ^~^** : pickles are edible, that's my god-given opinion

**CarlosAndalucia** : ….....god-given?

**CarlosAndalucia** : also, gotta agree with hazuki here, pickles are pretty great

**Kanny ^~^:** god-given as in I gave it to myself

**Σ** : i can't believe i'm waking up to this garbage, pickles can burn in hell

**Σ** : well, not burn, i guess, since they're like half water at least, but

**junpuns** : pickles are kinda blegh tbh

**junpuns** : akane for the last time stop calling yourself god

**500 snakes in a trenchcoat** : Pickles are absolutely horrendous and I, for one, cannot believe my sister is a pickle loving fiend.

**Kanny ^~^** : i can do whatever I want jumpy

500 snakes in a trenchcoat: They are low calorie, pure salt, and provide absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever.

**CarlosAndalucia** : i support akane and she can be whatever she wants

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : are they just as salty as junpei

**junpuns** : i definitely feel like you've made that joke before but I honestly cannot remember

**junpuns** : also akane you can most definitely not be a god and carlos if you defend her i am breaking up with you

**~*~pink princess~*~** : pickles are great fuck all of you

**~*~pink princess~*~** : hahahaha  
  
**CarlosAndalucia** : but we aren't dating  
  
**CarlosAndalucia** : and can't, for that matter

**junpuns** : itsjoke.png

**Σ** : you sure about that, tenmyouji

**Σ** : *junpei

**junpuns** : very sure

**golden girl** : all of you who like pickles can come out and fight me

**golden girl** : i'll dropkick all of you 'til you learn common sense

**Mom Friend™** : Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but I have a confession to make

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : lmaooo if sigma finds out you like pickles he's going to have an aneurysm

**Mom Friend™** : I like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

**Σ:** you _what_ **  
**  
**golden girl** : i really thought both of my parents were going to be reasonable for once

**golden girl** : but no

**golden girl** : my goddamn mom likes pb & pickles

**Kanny ^~^** : that's the only acceptable way to eat pickles honestly

**Kanny ^~^** : aoi couldnt get me to eat them otherwise

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : okay thats literally just bc youre a fiend for peanut butter

**junpuns** : i cannot believe I know two people who like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches

**Σ** : diana, my room. now.

**CarlosAndalucia** : minus the pb and pickles, I gotta agree with diana on this one, pickles are great

**Mom Friend™** : Sigma, I'm at the grocery store!

**Σ** : you'd better not be buying fucking pickles

**Sean!** : The nearest grocery store is 5.5 miles away. Would you like me to call a cab, Sigma?

**golden girl** : i hate this goddamn family

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : i thought he didnt work when you were online

**Σ** : it doesn't count if im on my phone

**Σ** : cell tower works differently

**Σ** : also no, sean, i would not, but thank you for asking

**pretty fly for a bi guy** : well thanks for the education mr know everything about electronics

**junpuns** : this is why I don't discourse

**junpuns** : it always ends like this

**~*~pink princess~*~** : i didnt mean to cause this much strife, i just wanted someone to open my pickle jar!!

**Σ** : alright, everyone, log off now

**Σ** : i know I cant make any of you stop but this has gone on for too long

**h.kashiwabara** : I know I havent said a word but Im sorry for causing this

**Kanny ^~^** : its my fault I let junpei make this group chat

j **unpuns** : glad to see we're at the point where you're not blaming me for it

**golden girl** : okay can everyone just like

**golden girl** : be quiet

**golden girl** : shhh

**golden girl** : no more pickles or discourse

 

**golden girl** : excellent that did the trick.

 

**500 snakes in a trenchcoat** : This is the biggest mess I've ever seen.

**500 snakes in a trenchcoat** : And that's saying something, because I've been through two nonary games and got stuffed into a coffin once.

**~*~pink princess~*~** : you forgot the car accident bro

**500 snakes in a trenchcoat** : Fair enough.

 

-

 

**Eric~** : I know i'm late, had work, but pickles and ice cream are great

**junpuns** : eric, i really don't want to be mean to you after everything you've been through

**junpuns** : but shut the fuck up

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...........yep.

**Author's Note:**

> i just realized i should probably explain two of the usernames so here we go
> 
> phi is golden girl bc phi is a symbol used to represent the golden ratio a lot  
> carlos is CarlosAndalucia because that's a character from a gundam show from the 90's and carlos is canonically a fan of giant robot shows. i haven't seen any gundam but *shrug emoji*
> 
> ...yeah that's it. i will try to update this regularly but i'm going back to college in 4 days so no guarantees. i swear next chapter will be funnier than this this was just Setup for the most part


End file.
